| Author | Joke |
mike
scotland | 2010-07-28 09:12:09
my 2 english pals think ive got 2 bums when they visit everbody says theres that guy wi the 2 assholes |
Moggie
uk | 2010-07-28 03:45:54
For my sons birthday we bought him an iPod. For my daughters birthday we bought her an iPhone and for my birthday I recieved an iPad. Thinking along the same lines I bought my wife for her birthday an iRon - and thats where it all went horribly wrong |
Chorley Steve
Uk | 2010-07-25 06:28:59
Let the last pictures of Alex Higgins\' gaunt, starved body serve as a warning to women the world over. That\'s what happens to you when you stop swallowing!
Rip Higgins. You were a star..... |
Chorley Steve
Uk | 2010-07-25 06:25:21
I grew up in a tough area. When i was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream then put a cherry on my head...
Yes... life was tough in the gateau |
vic
norway | 2010-07-23 06:11:04
nock, nock, whos there? tish, tish who? go away i dont want the cold |
vic
norway | 2010-07-21 12:26:06
Two men had been stranded on a desert island for two months and were getting very frustrated. \"listen, Geoff\" said Matt, \" who knows WHEN we may see another woman. Do you fancy doing it man to man\"? \"Now hold on a minute \" said Geoff looking alarmed,\" that isnt my scene at all\"
\"Nor mine, but needs must\" said Matt. \"Listen ,if you dont like it, make a noise like an animal, but if you do then start to sing...abd I\'ll do the same\"
So they started doing the business and almost immediately Geoff called out \" moo, moo, moo,moo...moon river, wider than a mile\" |
vic
norway | 2010-07-20 12:01:34
A man wnet into hospital for an appendectomy but unfortunatley the surgeon sneezed half way though and his scalpel slipped and cut off one of the mans balls. In a panic he replaced it with an onion. A few weeks later the man returned for a check up. \"Hows it going \"? asked the surgeon.\"Oh fine\" said the man \"just some small side effects\".\"Really\"? said the surgeon....\"and what are those?\"
The man replied \" well every time I go for a piss my eyes water, when my wife gives me a blow job she gets indigestion and when I smell hamburgers I get an erection\" |
natasha leslie
united kingdom | 2010-07-20 09:01:47
MAN WALKS INTO SUPERDRUG ASKS DO YOU HAV KYJELLY THE ASSISTANT REPLIES NO SORRY HAV U TRIED BOOTS THE MAN REPLIES I WANNA SLIDE IN NOT MARCH IN LOL |
vic
norway | 2010-07-18 11:51:46
Little Tommy went to his mother one day and asked where he came from. His mother stripped off and showed him. The following day the lad went to school and told all his mates that from now on he wanted to be known as \"Lucky Tommy\".
\"Why?\" they all asked.
Tommy held up two fingers an inch apart and replied \"Cos i was THAT close to being a turd\" |
Vic
norway | 2010-07-18 11:46:57
\"Whats up Steve\"? asked the barman. \"You look a bit pissed off\"! \"I am\" ,replied Steve \" I\'ve just passed that new sperm bank thats just opened round the corner and its paying £25 for each sample\". He shook his head sadly.\"I\'ve let a fortune slip through my fingers\" |
Fred
UK | 2010-07-12 08:59:39
Police wouldn\'t let Gazza anywhere near Raoul Moat when he turned up to help, because they knew how shite England players are in a \"Shoot out\" ! |
Dr Fettish
Britain | 2010-07-11 11:40:49
Now don\'t even think about posting any any jokes about the murderer from the north east as I won\'t find it Raoul Moatly funny!!! |
Steve
Chorley | 2010-07-10 17:10:54
Gerrard, Rooney and Carragher have bought their kids vuvezulas back from Africa. The kids are said to be over the moon as they can now syphon petrol much quicker than the other scouse kids!! |
Glump
Sco | 2010-07-10 10:47:59
why do people on here post shit jokes, cmon folkes look at my jokes they are quality |
JAMES MALORET
england | 2010-07-09 19:25:50
GAZZA HAS TURNED UP AT ROTHBURY NEWSCASTLE CLAIMING RAOUL MOAT TO BE A FRIEND APPARENTLY HE JUST WANTED A SHOT |
Steve
Chorley | 2010-07-09 15:54:32
So how is it that a copper can shoot an innocent man in a tube station and get away with it scott free but when a man shoots an innocent copper theres a massive manhunt involving five police forces? Seems to me its one Raoul for one, and one for another. |
john
england | 2010-07-09 12:10:38
Raoul Moat has signed for Newcastle United as he is 6\" 3 shoots well and can evade defenders. |
Jonathon
wales | 2010-07-09 11:35:09
piss off RONNIE my jokes are funnier than yours you tit |
RONNIE
yorkshire | 2010-07-09 11:32:23
Piss off marlour my jokes may be long but they are the best |
susan marlor
south australia | 2010-07-09 10:51:12
why do men get called donkey cock when they\'re not donkies |
