| Author | Joke |
Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-02-04 12:04:29
Mom: Didn`t I Tell you if a guy touches your boobs say \"DONT\", and if he touches your pussy say \"STOP\".
Daughter Meilssa replies: But mum he touched both so I said \"DONT STOP\"
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Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-02-04 12:01:41
Today John Terry has been stripped of his captaincy. It\'s the first time he\'s been stripped without then donning a clan hood or fucking someone elses wife.
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MR SPASTIC
North East - England | 2012-02-03 16:54:16
THERE WAS A GUY NAMED ANDY,
WHO THOUGHT HE WAS QUITE DANDY,
HE TRIED TO COP A FEEL,
BY A GIRL NAMED LUCILLE,
HE HAD ON RUBBER GLOVES,
TO MOLEST THE WAY HE LOVES,
BUT SHE DID\'T TAKE TOO KINDLY,
AND THOUGHT HE WAS SPINDLY,
AND REALLY TOOK AFRONT,
WHEN HE\'S HAND WENT UP HER CUNT,
SHE SAID SHE\'D MAKE HIM PAY,
AND HER DADDY\'S ON THE WAY,
SHE TOLD HIM TO RELAX,
HE\'S ONLY GOT AN AXE,
STAY THERE MOTHERFUCKER,
KEEP YOUR HANDS INSIDE,
THIS WON\'T HURT A BIT,
AND YOU\'LL STILL HAVE YOUR DICK,
BUT ANDY WASN\'T HAVING IT,
HE PULLED OUT AND TRIED TO SPLIT,
TO LATE HE THOUGHT HE SHOULDN\'T HAVE LINGERED,
INSTEAD OF A WHOLE HAND HE SHOULD OF JUST FINGERD!!
:-) P.S YA FUCKING BELLEND CHEESE SNIFFERS!! |
tj
scotland | 2012-02-03 13:34:13
mate at work got 2 tickets for the rangers end oh season party cant make it now do you want them its for sat nite |
tj
scotland | 2012-02-03 13:25:50
rangers have signed a south korean replacement for jelavic-- foo-kin nae-wan |
Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-02-03 12:10:03
My wife walked in on me fingering the neighbour who was on her period.
Yep you got it, I was caught red handed :P
|
gimp
Sco | 2012-01-30 14:22:21
The Wife Is Really Dirty In The Sack fortunately Shittin In the Bed Isnt One Of The Things That Turns Me On |
stickyjammy
uk | 2012-01-30 13:25:45
teacher said to johnny\" if you had five sweets and mohammed asked you for one, how many would you have left\"?
\"five\" replied johnny |
Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-01-29 11:37:26
My ex-girlfriend was really self-conscious about the size of her pussy lips.
Personally, I didn\'t see why she was flapping so much.
|
Epileptic Gimp
Geordie-Land | 2012-01-29 05:56:03
I Went to See my Opitician Yesterday who Told Me I am Now Colour-Blind. I am Worried in case some of my Mates are Pakis so l have texted them all Telling them if any of them are Pakis to Delete my Number & Fuck-Off. |
Epileptic Gimp
Geordie-Land | 2012-01-29 05:49:53
For Years I thought my Mrs had Tourettes but it appears She Really does want Me to Fuck-Off. |
Epileptic Gimp
Geordie-Land | 2012-01-29 05:45:58
After the Massive Success of WAR-HORSE Steven Spielberg has made Plans to Film a Sequel in Newcastle Starring Shola Ameobi named WOR-DONKEY. |
Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-01-28 11:55:57
My Cock is a bit like your regular snooker player.
It regularly goes for the Pink but if thats unavailable the Brown.
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Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-01-28 11:54:32
I was having sex with a bird in a dark alley last night, when she looked up at me.
\"You\'ve got a little tiny dick,\" she giggled. \"I think its a nice fit,\" I replied,
\"Maybe its your pierced clit that\'s the problem, eh?\"
\"That\'s my belly button ring you stupid twat,\" she laughed.
|
bungle bob zippy
oop oop | 2012-01-26 08:17:49
hi all were back ................... unga munga dunga flippyatee doing brub frit noiklert dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg........ frup |
Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-01-25 11:49:18
Since I started stealing money from my wife to pay for prostitutes, my friends have started calling me \"Robin Hood\".Stealing from the bitch and giving to the whore.
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Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-01-25 11:44:57
I asked my mate whether a woman\'s clit was at the front or back.He laughed then told me it was at the front.
I thought \"Fuck, i must have been sucking and licking her piles.
|
Dr Fettish
Britain | 2012-01-23 01:50:13
George Michael simpathises with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying, \'Im often left abandoned and laying on my side with a badly damaged bottom after a nights cruising\' |
Dr Fettish
Britain | 2012-01-23 01:48:23
Teacher ask Billy, If you have 5 sweets and Mohammed asks for one how many do you have left? Billy says, \'Five\' |
Shaunmcfc
UK | 2012-01-21 12:46:02
I felt a bit down today, so I threw bleach all over my Pakistani friend.
That brightened Mahmood up no end.
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