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AuthorJoke
Adam mchale

2001-07-11 20:51:20

2 guys are in the middle of the sea when a genie appears and tells them they have a wish between them the first guy sez'I wish the sea was beer' the second guy sez 'stupid we'll have to piss in the boat now'
no 1 pornstar

2001-07-11 19:56:24

what do you call a packi with a mouth full of sweets???
AN EASTER EGG
no 1 pornstar

england
2001-07-11 19:52:52

whats a positive orgasm? "oh yes,oh yes"
whats a negative orgasm? "no,no,oh no"
whats a holy orgasm? "oh god yes,oh jesus i`m coming"
whats a fake orgasm? "oh chubby,oh chubby"!!!!
chris carroll

england
2001-07-11 18:55:47

what do you call a pakai with pink hair
ghandi floss
potshot

england
2001-07-10 19:53:35

3 men are taken to be killed by indians but the chief gives them 3 wishes the first one wants a bottle of wiskey when he drinks it they kill him second one wants a ciger when he smokes it they kill him the 3rd one wants a pisce of bread and butter he gets his cock out and starts wanking they just about to kill him the chief says stop this man comes in peace
Zap

ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!
2001-07-10 14:11:13


So Aby Cohen the tailor is woken up at three in the morning by the telephone.None too pleased he picks it up.
He says'Ello,who is this'
A voice replies'is that Mr Cohen the tailor'
'Yes it is now who the fuck are you'
'This is Isaac stein Mr Cohen,I don't know if you remember me but I'm one of your customers'
'Yes yes I remember you know what the fuck are you ringing me for at three in the morning'
'Well I just wanted to tell you that i'm fucking the arse of your daughter Rachael at this very moment'
'What? your ringing me at three in the morning to tell me that are you fucking crazy'
'Well it wasn't just that Mr Cohen I wanted to thank you for finally making something that fuckin' fit me.'
Mickster

Sheffield
2001-07-09 20:58:25

I wuz sat in the waiting room at me local doctors the other day, when all of a sudden the doctor rushed out and started shouting

"TETANUS, MEASLES, TYPHOID"

Puzzled as a cunt i asked the nurse wot just happened, she replied

"Thats the new doctor, he likes to call the shots"

Well Laugh then ya bastards!!
Mickster

Sheffield
2001-07-09 20:54:43


John Prescott:
"Me wife was driving me home last night, when us car broke down!"

Tony Blair sez:
"Puncture"

Tony Prescott:
"Yeah she fuckin deserved it!!"
John

UK
2001-07-08 22:19:43

A drunk Major and General where in the pub one night going over old times. The General spoke-up....
I remember when me and Spotty Wilson where in the jungle one evening and I sent Spotty out to check for tigers. He was looking in the bushes not too far away when he came across a bloody big tiger but luckily it was facing the other way but Spotty proceeded to lift the tigers tail and shove his gun barrel right up the tigers arse......The tiger turned around and lept at us......"WHOOOOAAAH SHIT MYSELF" the General shouted...The Major replied "Well,If a tiger had lept at me I'd have shit myself aswell." The General replied "NO-NO Not then......THEN when I went WHOOOOAAAH.
hehehehehe fuck off

beiroot (manchester)
2001-07-08 22:15:40

all week my wife kept coming home and catching me in bed with different women so she told me i had to cut down. so i said ok ........................................ now i`m fucking midgets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
big boab

SCOTLAND
2001-07-08 18:34:27

I WENT FOR AN INDIAN LAST NIGHT..........
HE DIDN'T DO FUCK ALL I JUST WENT FOR HIM
no 1 pornstar

2001-07-07 23:30:42

why did david beckham really have a mohican??
someone offered victoria half a million to shave her twat!!!
or he got the idea when he saw victoria getting out of the
bath!!!
no 1 pornstar

2001-07-07 23:20:22

Its a hot sunny day,so barrymore and his gay pal decide to
go to DO IT ALL,to buy a new patio set,when they get home
they are both so exited,barrymores pal says "Can i put the
brolly up?" to which barrymore replies "Yes but dont open
it for fucks sake!!".
jenny

uk
2001-07-07 23:13:58

Whats the defenition of a bastard?
a bloke that fucks you all night with a 2" dick then kisses you good-bye in the morning with a 12" tongue.
no 1 pornstar

2001-07-07 23:07:16

barrymore goes into a butchers and asks for a large salami,
so the butcher takes it and begins to slice it up,
so barrymore says "what do you think my arse is,a moneybox !
LIAM PALMER

CHURCH WARSOP MANS NOTTS ENGLAND
2001-07-07 22:31:16

(Q)What looks good on a mother-in law?

(a)A rottweiler.

I went into a cafe for a sarnie, i was reading the menu on diffrent sarnies,the menu said Ham cobs 60p Ham Salads ?1.20
at the bottom it said WANKS 60p each or two for ?1.20.
Iwas ready to order when chubby came from the back of the counter . I said r u working hear he said yes.So i siad to chubby brown who does wanks? His eyes lit up and he said me why. so i put ?1.20 on the conter and said go and wash your hands i want 2 ham cobs.
tony the taff

welsh wales isnt it
2001-07-07 22:19:53

Barrymore is in bed with his lover,the lover says i'm off to the shithouse don't you be having a wank while i'm out. I won't says Barrymore.Lover comes back into the bedroom only to find spunk all over the sheets,You dirty bastard , you promised you wouldn't have a wank. I didn't honest ,I farted!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barrymore went to the doctor and said 'doc can you give me anything to make my chest hairy'. The doctor told him to rub vaseline into his chest every night.So he's at home rubbing vaseline into his chest when in walks his lover.What the fuck are you doing now he says.So barrymore explains what the doctor said.'Don't be so fucking thick you queer cunt if that worked you'd have a fucking ponytail growing out of your arsehole by now!!!!!!!!!
GINNER

ENGLAND
2001-07-07 21:57:36

(Q)Why has"nt Micheal Barrymore got any astrays in is house?

(A)Because he puts his fags out in his pool.
VIC DUGGAN

SOUTH AFRICA FORMERLY MANCHESTER
2001-07-06 23:04:20

VIC AND CAROL ARE SAT ON THE STOOP, FEEDING THE BIRDS TO THE CATS. CAROL SEES AN INTERESTING PIECE IN THE PAPER AND SAYS TO THE OLD MAN, THEYVE INVENTED A VIAGRA FOR BULLS, ITS SO GOOD A BULL CAN GO ALL DAY AND SERVICE FIFTY COWS. I WONDER WHAT ITS LIKE SAYS CAROL, I DON'T KNOW SAYS THE OLD MAN, BUT THEY TASTE OF SPEARMINT

----------------------------------------
a SHIPLOAD OF VIAGRA SANK IN THE ATLANTIC OFF THE COAST OF CANADA.............TEN MINUTES LATER THE TITANIC CAME UP
VIC DUGGAN

SOUTH AFRICA FORMERLY MANCHESTER
2001-07-06 22:51:39

THE POLICE WERE CALLED TO AN INCIDENT AT AN ICE CREAM VAN WHERE A SUSPICIOUS DEATH WAS REPORTED. THE OWNER WAS FOUND IN THE BACK AND HE WAS A HELL OF A MESS, THERE WAS ICE CREAM , CHOCOLATE FLAKES, HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS, CRUSHED NUTS, AND CHERRIES ALL OVER HIM. HE HAD TOPPED HIMSELF
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