| Author | Joke |
fred land
England | 2010-08-07 03:40:24
President Obama sent $4,000,000 Dollars aid to Northern Ireland as soon as he heard about Hurricane Higgins |
jdc
United Kingdom | 2010-08-06 19:46:17
have u heard that british airways have grounded their cabin crews?
they found all the stewardess\'s have got atleast a 4inch crack in them |
Dr Fettish
British | 2010-08-05 14:59:54
If Pakistan has enough water now, can I have my 2 quid a month back?? |
Raypist
England | 2010-08-05 10:23:01
I was walking into the hospital the other day when i wqas slowed down by this big fat ugly woman in front of me. She was in a wheelchair, wheezing and drooling as she struggled to get up the ramp. She turned to me and said \"do me a favour would you love\", so I suffocated her |
Ray Pierson
England | 2010-08-05 10:20:11
Apparently, Pakistan looks like a bowl of coco pops from space! Fook off Chubs |
Vic
norway | 2010-08-04 13:11:08
flood disaster appeal fund in pakistan have launched a new record to raise money. Its called \"Raindrops keep falling on ahmed\" |
jamierobbo
england | 2010-07-30 06:44:56
A man walks into WHS Smiths and asks \"have you got that new self-help book for men,the one about having a small penis?\"
The woman behind the counter replys \"its not in yet\"
The man says \"yes,that what its called\" |
mike
scotland | 2010-07-28 09:12:09
my 2 english pals think ive got 2 bums when they visit everbody says theres that guy wi the 2 assholes |
Moggie
uk | 2010-07-28 03:45:54
For my sons birthday we bought him an iPod. For my daughters birthday we bought her an iPhone and for my birthday I recieved an iPad. Thinking along the same lines I bought my wife for her birthday an iRon - and thats where it all went horribly wrong |
Chorley Steve
Uk | 2010-07-25 06:28:59
Let the last pictures of Alex Higgins\' gaunt, starved body serve as a warning to women the world over. That\'s what happens to you when you stop swallowing!
Rip Higgins. You were a star..... |
Chorley Steve
Uk | 2010-07-25 06:25:21
I grew up in a tough area. When i was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream then put a cherry on my head...
Yes... life was tough in the gateau |
vic
norway | 2010-07-23 06:11:04
nock, nock, whos there? tish, tish who? go away i dont want the cold |
vic
norway | 2010-07-21 12:26:06
Two men had been stranded on a desert island for two months and were getting very frustrated. \"listen, Geoff\" said Matt, \" who knows WHEN we may see another woman. Do you fancy doing it man to man\"? \"Now hold on a minute \" said Geoff looking alarmed,\" that isnt my scene at all\"
\"Nor mine, but needs must\" said Matt. \"Listen ,if you dont like it, make a noise like an animal, but if you do then start to sing...abd I\'ll do the same\"
So they started doing the business and almost immediately Geoff called out \" moo, moo, moo,moo...moon river, wider than a mile\" |
vic
norway | 2010-07-20 12:01:34
A man wnet into hospital for an appendectomy but unfortunatley the surgeon sneezed half way though and his scalpel slipped and cut off one of the mans balls. In a panic he replaced it with an onion. A few weeks later the man returned for a check up. \"Hows it going \"? asked the surgeon.\"Oh fine\" said the man \"just some small side effects\".\"Really\"? said the surgeon....\"and what are those?\"
The man replied \" well every time I go for a piss my eyes water, when my wife gives me a blow job she gets indigestion and when I smell hamburgers I get an erection\" |
natasha leslie
united kingdom | 2010-07-20 09:01:47
MAN WALKS INTO SUPERDRUG ASKS DO YOU HAV KYJELLY THE ASSISTANT REPLIES NO SORRY HAV U TRIED BOOTS THE MAN REPLIES I WANNA SLIDE IN NOT MARCH IN LOL |
vic
norway | 2010-07-18 11:51:46
Little Tommy went to his mother one day and asked where he came from. His mother stripped off and showed him. The following day the lad went to school and told all his mates that from now on he wanted to be known as \"Lucky Tommy\".
\"Why?\" they all asked.
Tommy held up two fingers an inch apart and replied \"Cos i was THAT close to being a turd\" |
Vic
norway | 2010-07-18 11:46:57
\"Whats up Steve\"? asked the barman. \"You look a bit pissed off\"! \"I am\" ,replied Steve \" I\'ve just passed that new sperm bank thats just opened round the corner and its paying £25 for each sample\". He shook his head sadly.\"I\'ve let a fortune slip through my fingers\" |
Fred
UK | 2010-07-12 08:59:39
Police wouldn\'t let Gazza anywhere near Raoul Moat when he turned up to help, because they knew how shite England players are in a \"Shoot out\" ! |
Dr Fettish
Britain | 2010-07-11 11:40:49
Now don\'t even think about posting any any jokes about the murderer from the north east as I won\'t find it Raoul Moatly funny!!! |
Steve
Chorley | 2010-07-10 17:10:54
Gerrard, Rooney and Carragher have bought their kids vuvezulas back from Africa. The kids are said to be over the moon as they can now syphon petrol much quicker than the other scouse kids!! |
