[ << ] [ < ] 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [ > ] [ >> ] (Displaying jokes 61-80 from a total of 15,288 jokes) | Author | Joke | Glump
Sco | 2010-07-10 10:47:59
why do people on here post shit jokes, cmon folkes look at my jokes they are quality | JAMES MALORET
england | 2010-07-09 19:25:50
GAZZA HAS TURNED UP AT ROTHBURY NEWSCASTLE CLAIMING RAOUL MOAT TO BE A FRIEND APPARENTLY HE JUST WANTED A SHOT | Steve
Chorley | 2010-07-09 15:54:32
So how is it that a copper can shoot an innocent man in a tube station and get away with it scott free but when a man shoots an innocent copper theres a massive manhunt involving five police forces? Seems to me its one Raoul for one, and one for another. | john
england | 2010-07-09 12:10:38
Raoul Moat has signed for Newcastle United as he is 6\" 3 shoots well and can evade defenders. | Jonathon
wales | 2010-07-09 11:35:09
piss off RONNIE my jokes are funnier than yours you tit | RONNIE
yorkshire | 2010-07-09 11:32:23
Piss off marlour my jokes may be long but they are the best | susan marlor
south australia | 2010-07-09 10:51:12
why do men get called donkey cock when they\'re not donkies | chubbs
uk | 2010-07-08 17:13:54
Police have told geordie gunman raoul moat we are taking you very seriously. Your girlfriend was actually shagging a paki not a copper, so could you please call into any police station, and we will give you some more ammo , and 4 weeks head start. | RONNIE
yorkshire | 2010-07-08 15:59:14
A newlywed couple arrived back from honeymoon to move into their tiny new flat.
\"Care to go to bed?\" the husband asked.
\"Shh!\" said his blushing bride. \"These walls are paper thin. The neighbours will know what you mean! Next time, ask me in code - like, \'Have you left the washing machine door open\' - instead.\"
So, the following night, the husband asks: \"I don\'t suppose you left the washing machine door open, darling?\"
\"No,\" she snapped back, \"I definitely shut it.\" Then she rolled over and fell asleep.
The next morning, she woke up feeling a little horny herself, so she nudged her husband and said: \"I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all...\"
\"Don\'t worry,\" said the man. \"It was only a small load so I did it by hand.\" | Jonathon
Wales | 2010-07-08 13:37:50
At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, \"Home for Lunch\".
The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out. The artist walked by and noticed the women\'s confusion. \"Can I help you with this painting?\" he asked.
\"Well, yes\" said the one woman. \"We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?\"
\"Oh,\" said the artist. \"I\'m afraid you\'ve misunderstood the painting. The three men are not African-Americans, they\'re coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went \"Home for Lunch.\" | gimp
Sco | 2010-07-08 12:11:02
I feel Sorry for my Grandma, She moved from Cumbria to Rothbury to feel safer.... | blueboy
england | 2010-07-08 11:36:57
just got chucked out of the local mosque, i only walked in during prayers........and.....er........well! i could\'nt help myself.......................fuckin love leapfrog | Dr Fettish
UK | 2010-07-08 04:00:33
Sherlock Holmes, I heard your wifes that \'THICK\'she thought Serlock Holmes was a Feckin Housing Association | Dr Fettish
Britain | 2010-07-08 02:38:04
To Sherlock Holmes, no we are different people as I post jokes and he takes the piss!!
I was watching a romantic film with the wife last night and she called me an annoying twat, I was that shocked I nearly dropped my vuvuzela... | Jonathon
Wales | 2010-07-07 21:00:05
A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke. People are running frantically, trying to figure out what to do. Two homosexuals sitting in the corner wisper to each other and run in front of the choking lady. One strips out of his overalls, bends over butt naked in front of his friend. Then his friend proceeds to lick the other\'s arse.
Upon seeing this, the lady vomits forcing the lodged food from her throat. After making sure the lady is OK, the two homosexuals return to their food.
One turns to the other and says, \"Wow, that hind-lick manuever really works!\"
| Sherlock Holmes
London | 2010-07-07 17:42:57
Fettish, my dear chap why the question mark after cousin? Is it that you do not know who your father might be . . . Indeed, more elementry that way perhaps! | Dr Fettish
UK | 2010-07-07 15:52:27
Holmes my dear chap, he could be my cousin? | Sherlock Holmes
London | 2010-07-07 14:08:50
Doctor Fettish Britain and Doctor fettish uk, are you the same person?.... | Glump
Sco | 2010-07-07 14:05:04
Each Sunday, Mr and Mrs Jones go to their local church for a service, but recently, Mr Jones had been falling alseep and snoring throughout. So, after one particularly embarrassing day, Mrs Jones went to see the vicar. \"Vicar, can you help me? My husband keeps falling asleep during your services and it’s really embarrassing.\" \"Okay, take this hat-pin and when I see him fall asleep, I’ll nod to you and you stick it in his leg.\"
So Mrs Jones thanks him, wakes her husband in the pews and they go home.
Next Sunday, ten minutes into his sermon, the vicar spots Mr Jones alseep. So he says,
\"And who is our Saviour?\"
And he nods purposefully at her. So Mrs Jones sticks the pin in his leg and he wakes up and shouts,
\"Jesus!\"
\"Yes, Jesus is our Saviour.\"
Five minutes later, Mr Jones falls asleep again, so the vicar spots this and says to the congregation, \"And who is our Forgiver?\"
And again he nods purposefully at Mrs Jones who sticks the pin in her husband’s leg, who shouts, \"God!\"
\"Yes, God is our Forgiver.\"
So then, during his long service, the vicar begins to really get into what he’s saying, so he starts to nod accidentally. Therefore, Mr Jones is getting poked in the leg for no reason. Right at the end of ther service, the vicar is really getting going and he says, \"And what did Eve say to Adam when she bore his 99th child?\"
And he accidentally nods, so Mrs Jones sticks the pin in her husband’s leg and he says, \"If you stick that in me one more time, I’ll turn it around and shove it up your arse!\" .....
| Dr Fettish
Britain | 2010-07-07 13:53:11
Oh look ive been posting again and didn\'t know it...
If anyone in the North East knows the whereabouts of Raoul Moat can you please tell him that, John Terry, Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole & Wayne Rooney shagged his wife as well.... |
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